"I Have a Plot" (He Said, She Said)

Recently hubby and I had dinner with my best friend and her husband. My friend and I always wind up chatting about our writing endeavors. Suddenly, her husband said, "I have a plot for a book."

"What is it?" I asked.

Here's the answer. "Two people are in a locked room and no one can get in. One kills the other with a knife carved from ice. When the dead person is found, there is no murder weapon."

My response: "Why did the one person kill the other? What was the motivation?"

"I don't know. It's just a plot."

A plot? Hmmm. People who don't write just don't get it.

Talking to Goldfish?????

I've always known my hubby has a soft spot for animals, especially cats. When he took early retirement, he spent most of his days with only the cats for company. Consequently, you can hear him say things like "Templeton, are you Daddy's little boy?" The cat responds with a quick "Meow." They carry on quite a conversation. Now that I'm home, I've experienced their long conversations, and I swear the cat understands him. : )

However, the other morning I had a shock. Hubby had discovered the fish tank water elevated. Somehow, the heater had gotten turned up (those pesky fish), so he needed to get it under control. These fish (which I call goldfish with fancy tails) have a special name. My hubby is quick to correct anyone who asks if they are goldfish. These fish are huge! We had one die not too long ago and it barely fit in the net. But I digress. Hubby stuck his hand into the water and one of the fish came up and nibbled on it. When this happens, he is elated. He thinks he's tamed them or something. So I said, "Well, they are hungry and wanted to take a little bite."  I went about my business and then heard, "You are Daddy's little babies. Poor little babies. Daddy will fix the water for you. Come on, come give Daddy's finger a kiss."

Ack!!!!  If the fish ever start talking back, I'm moving out. I believe he thinks he's Daddy Doolittle.

Have a great day! Thanks for stopping by. 

Spontaneous...That's My Family

What a spectacular weekend. I took Friday off work which gave me a nice long four day weekend. Saturday our son planned to get married in our yard, so I wanted a little time to prepare. Imagine my surprise to get a phone call from my brother telling me he was on the way to our house and would arrive before I got off work!! I haven't seen my brother in nearly five years. He was in Indianapolis with the race car crew and they told him to take the rental car and come visit since we were only 3 hours away. Woo hoo!!

I love my brother soooo much. We're like the true yin and yang. He's so much fun, keeps everyone laughing and is one of the most patient and loving people in my life. He's overcome a lot and is my hero.

We had a wonderful time visiting and running around looking for a Harley Davidson shirt from the area. Yeah, he's a bike man, but trust me...he's just a little bitty guy. I tease him all the time about being a little pipsqueak. I think his biker friends call him buzzard bait. LOL!

Saturday the wedding was set to take place at 12:30 pm in our back yard. While we were setting up the reception at the church, we decided to have the wedding at the church in the gorgeous prayer garden. Good thing it was only family. We made some quick phone calls. At 12:25 one daughter and her hubby still hadn't shown up and they were not answering their cell phones. So, my brother and I headed back to my house and...yep, they were waiting in the back yard wondering why no one had shown up yet. LOL! We got back to the church and were getting ready to move the wedding party to the garden when another family member from out of town that we hadn't known was coming actually found us at the church! He'd been to our house, too. Yep, we have a very crazy family and we operate on spontaneity!

The wedding was beautiful, and I know have a wonderful new daughter-in-law. My brother headed back to Indianapolis at 8PM on Saturday evening.










My Brother and Me

What I Learned From My Mother...

...in the last 30 days. Warning - Not recommended for hypochondriacs! Please read with a sense of humor!


1. Never lift a sofa while your husband works on the sofa legs. Causes total destruction of leg muscles--FOREVER!

2. Never take an antibiotic. Causes your system to split in half. One half will be healthy, the other will have serious defects--FOREVER!!

3. Never use a piece of exercise equipment that has moving bars for the arms. Causes a severe outbreak of Shingles! -- ALWAYS!!

4. Never take an osteoporosis medication. Causes your bones to turn black--FOREVER!!!

5. Never take a generic antacid tablet. Causes your bowels to become defective--FOREVER!!!!

This is how my mother has reached the age of 85 with all these conditions. I haven't yet learned what caused her heart valve to malfunction. When I do, I will add it to the list of warnings.

Thanks for stopping by!

In the Dentist's Chair...

On Tuesday, I had to go to the dentist because my tooth broke while I was eating salad. I didn't bite the fork...just a mouth full of lettuce and dressing when suddenly, I felt something hard. Grossed me out when I saw part of a tooth, until I realized it was mine!

Okay, so I go to the dentist knowing that I will need to have a crown. That means lots of sitting and waiting, so I took along my "Fire in Fiction" by Donald Maass so I could spend the time learning how to fire up my manuscript. The doctor came in and looked at the tooth while her assistant prepped the torture instruments.

Next, she applied the nasty tasting pre-numbing solution. I saw her lean closer to read the cover of my book. She asked, "Oh, you are a writer?"

"Yes," said I. (Wondering if I will get something good out of this visit to include in my writing)

"That's interesting." Then she lifted the needle large enough to put a bull elephant to sleep in less than 3 seconds. She rammed it into my mouth and I tried not to jump. Since I was so good, she decided to twist it upward and try again. I did jump a little, hoping she would be satisfied and take the needle away. But, noooo, she jabbed it into my lower gum next. I hate needles!

Then, blessedly, she was finished. Whew. She raised my chair so I could read my book and told me she'd be back in a few minutes to see how I was progressing. Okay, I guess that means to see if I was getting numb. So, I proceeded to read and try to forget what would be coming next. (shudder)

About five minutes later the dentist appeared again with a smile bordering on that of Garfield about to squash Odie. All teeth. You know what I mean? She asked how I was doing. I told her I could feel tingling along my chin now. Wrong answer.

"I'm just going to give you a little bit more, baby girl." (Baby girl??? Now, I'm starting to get scared. Really scared.) So she gets a needle, which has grown in size, and shoots me up a little more.

A little more time reading and the walking smile returns.

Then, the drilling began. Oh, how I hate that sound! The dentist proceeded to stretch my mouth to an unnatural width, and her assistant stuck a fire hose into the opposite side of my mouth to siphen out the overflow (or to hide the blood?). I hear them chatting happily, while I'm verging on a migraine headache. Pain throbbing in my temples, while the drilling continues. I'm praying they finish soon. Not going to happen.

Next, they put a rubber thing between my teeth and tell me to bite down. That is supposed to keep my mouth just right for the drilling to continue. But, the doctor is having a problem getting to one side of my tooth. So, they change sides! Now the dentist is on my left and with a happy grin, says, "Ah, this is much better!"

They talk about how great I'm doing. How do they know? They have no idea I'd like to club both of them and shove the drill down their throats! Now I can smell something burning. And taste burnt residue in my mouth. Oh, please, I pray, haven't they reached my stomach yet?

Finally, they finish. Both are happily praising the wonderful job they did. The rubber thing is removed from my mouth and two Garfield faces look at me. "You're such a good patient."

I try to smile, know I'm smiling lopsided, and say, "Actually, I'm just preparing my fists to slug both of you."

Laughter. They think I'm kidding.

"Our patient is a writer," says the dentist. "Maybe we'll wind up in her next book."

I reply, "Oh, don't worry. You will. Both of you. I will kill you both. It's legal you know!"

More laughter.

Then they squirt a ton of mushy cold clay down my throat and tell me to bite down.

Have you ever heard a dentist rave about making a wonderful impression? Have you ever seen what those impressions look like? I have. My dentist showed me. She was so happy with the way it turned out. She explained everything, like "See this? This is where your gum is...and this is...oh, this is just so beautiful!" It looks like blue and orange brass knuckles to me.

After one more impression, the assistant finally seats the temporary crown and I'm free to go...after I pay $300 for the first half of the expense of having a permanent crown made.

Sigh...so much pain for so much money.

Then I have to go back to work. My throat is numb, my bottom lip is numb, my tongue is numb, the whole left side of my face is numb. I looked at myself and tried to smile. Nearly screamed. What a scary thing to behold! So, I stopped and bought myself a chocolate Frosty for lunch. I mean, what else could I eat? I closed my office door because I didn't want anyone to see how much trouble I had trying to slurp that ice cream off the spoon seated in the right side of my mouth. Then I looked down and saw a nice chocolate drip on my blouse. Thank goodness for Tide to Go. I cleaned that spot and then proceeded to eat again. Looked down and found another drip on my blouse. Cleaned that. Grabbed my little mirror and looked at myself. A big blog of chocolate was sitting on my chin. And I didn't even feel it!

A couple of hours later, I could speak with some clarity. Boss called me in. We chatted about a report and when I got up to leave he said, "Do you have any idea how you sound when you talk?" Then, this high faluting president said, "blubba, blub, blub, blubba!" My face must have shown my shock. Then he said, "Just kidding."

Oh, not funny. He will also be killed off in my novel.

Thanks for stopping by!

The Cat and the Bags

Yay, sunshine here in Ohio today! Tomorrow I'll share my latest life choice and I'll be sharing the experience here in my blog beginning May 7th.

On a funny note, my cat Templeton is always a source for a good laugh. The other day hubby came home from the hardware store with two plastic bags filled with various screws and things. He sat them on the workbench and Templeton just had to get nosy. While trying to get his head inside the bag, he managed to get the handles stuck around his head and legs. When he tried to get out, and couldn't, that cat went sailing through the air and ran fast enough to rival any olympic medalist. So, here's the cat, head stuck, bags rattling, hubby chasing and yelling...a perfect Funniest Video Moment. I'm at work, unfortunately. One of the bags fell off and hubby was able to retrieve the purchases. The other was found under the bed, where Templeton decided to spend the rest of the morning with an expression that said, "I meant to do that!"

Thanks for stopping by!

Hey, Is Everything Free?

I don't even know why I go out in public with my husband. Since he's retired,he's become...well, an old man. He works around the house on his wood projects or out in the yard on good days and he's like a little boy. He doesn't clean his hands before he reaches into his pockets for one thing. Let me tell ya, I can't get his everyday pants clean. There's just no way. He has dirt, grass, paint, and who knows what other kinds of stains on his clothes. So, when I call on my way home and ask if he wants to go out to eat, I should have my head examined. Something is wrong with me. I KNOW what he'll look like, because he sees no reason to change his clothes. Oh, wait, I take that back, he will change his shirt, but he just dusts off his pants and he's ready to go. To make matters worse, he has his favorite quilted flannel jacket shirt which he wears when it's "just a bit chilly" outside. It's plaid. It's blue...or rather dirty blue. The cuffs look like his pants. So does the collar. Choke me now.

So, now you have a picture, right. Okay, we go to Bob Evans last night for dinner. I pretend that I'm blind and can't see what he looks like. We have a nice meal and finally escape. NOT! We get to the register to pay and no one is there. I don't worry because I know someone will come soon. A minute later...it might have seemed a bit longer...my road construction crew hubby walks back to the counter and announces to the ENTIRE RESTAURANT..."Hey! Is anybody working the register or is everything free tonight!"

Finally, a girl comes running to the register. I feel bad. I feel like running out and letting him pay. But, being the one who tries to smooth things over, I give a little laugh as she comes toward me. But hubby, says again, "I thought maybe everything was free." She mutters, but loud enough for me to hear, "Nothing is free." And he doesn't stop there. "It took so long to get someone over here that I could have walked out of here three times already without paying."

He laughs when I tell him that he's becoming this cantankerous OLD MAN. A Mean Old Man.

Thanks for stopping by.

Cables, Phones, Thumbs, and Alarms...Oh, My!

Chaotic day, for sure. Started last night when I reached into my sock drawer to get a pair of socks for work. Excruciating pain shot through my thumb. I do have arthritis in both thumbs and tendonitis which flares occasionally. But this time it did not go away, not even overnight. So, I called off work...can't drive when the thumb won't work. Have you ever tried to do anything without your thumbs? I mean, how humiliating that my hubby had to dress me for bed! And try wiping your rear! Oh, this is my right thumb and I just happen to be right-handed. Sigh. I debated whether to go to Urgent Care or the doctor. Doctor won. They have an exray machine and the copay is less expensive. Yeah. First wrong decision of the day. Exray machines down in doctor's office. Diagnosis--keep thumb immobilized, rest, if it doesn't get better, take prescription for exray to hospital. Cha-ching. If I do that I will have to pay for the exray myself. Bought a thumb immobilizer brace at Walgreen's and I'm learning how to type slowly and use my left thumb only for the space key.

But...when we walked in the door the trouble light was sounding on our alarm system. Sigh. Now what. Called the alarm company. Went through the testing and the blaring of the alarm for a minute to see if they would receive a signal. My eardrums hurt as much as my thumb by then. My hubby was looking at me with his finger poised over the alarm pad and kept saying, "Can I shut it off now?" The cats were leaping in acrobatic stunts beyond description, and their eyes? Bulging and frightening! Finally, we were allowed to stop the noise. ADT says, no signal. She asked if we had a phone change recently. Bingo! We moved my office from the upstairs bedroom to the lower level last Saturday. I have an extra light blinking on the modem, although everything seems to be working all right. She says we need to check the phone to see if there is a problem. I say, "Well, if you can hear me, then it's working!" Sigh.

So, I call our cable company. Problem is the phone jack upstairs is where the cable company had wired the alarm system through. Now we have everything hooked up to the phone jack downstairs! Sigh.

The trouble alarm went off again. I silenced it, but it is going to sound off again. Hubby is on his way to the store to buy 50 foot phone cord. We'll drill a hole through the floor to drop the cord from that jack and attach it to the modem. If it works, I can cancel the scheduled appt with the cable company tomorrow afternoon. I sure hope it does. If not, I'll be up all night shutting of the blasted alarm. Sigh.

I have to laugh at the entire sad situation. If my thumb hadn't gone out, my hubby wouldn't have known what to do about the alarm and he would have called me at work where I would have been trapped in a senior management meeting all day. There is always a bright side to everything. **grin**

Mundane Monday

What happened to the weekend? I woke up this morning and couldn't believe it was back to work Monday already. Let's see I vaguely remember figuring taxes on Saturday and then everything is a blur until church yesterday morning. That is vivid and clear and a happy memory...then all I remember is hammering, pounding, the whining of saws, and pieces of drywall everywhere...in the office, the hallway, the living room, and the stairs. And this morning there is the bottom half of a shower in my living room and a box with shower walls in the family room.

And, now I'm heading to the kitchen with a bathtowel and soap. I guess I'll have to stand in the sink, one foot on either side, and use the spray hose to take my shower...oh wait. Maybe I better not try that...

I think I'll just go back to bed and try again.

Thanks for stopping by!

My Husband Should be a Writer...NOT!

Have you ever known someone who could take one simple tiny little action and turn it into a long drawn out story? I live with that someone. For instance:

He says: "When I take an Alka Seltzer Plus, I break it up in tiny little pieces and then it dissolves real fast that way."

She says: "Ah."

He says: "First I break it in half. Then I break it into smaller pieces. It works great that way."

She says: "Ah."

He says: "Yep. Just break it in half and then into smaller pieces."

She ??: Oh, wait. She's asleep.

You should hear him tell a story about someone pulling in front of him while he's driving. It goes something like this:

He says: "You won't believe what happened to me today."

She says: "Really? What?"

He says: "I was driving to Anderson's to get that shut off valve. I found a neat one that all you have to do is just tighten the bolt on and it's done."

She says: "That's what happened to you?"

He says: "No. Anyway, I was driving to Anderson's this morning. Right after I finished eating breakfast. I had driven past the gas station and was waiting at the light. There was a lot of traffic this morning. I'm not sure if there was an accident or not."

She says: "What happened to you this morning?"

He says: "I'm getting to that. So, anyway, I pulled through the light and after I made the turn this gal next to me...in one of those SUVs...I think it was a Toyota something. Not the biggest one, but the smaller one. I can't remember what that model is."

She thinks: "Is he ever going to get to the actual story of what happened to him?"

He says: "So she pulls right over in front of me, no turn signal, nothing. Just like she owned the road. I blasted my horn and rode right up on her bumper."

She says: "Ah."

Thanks for stopping by!

The Silent Treatment...

Have you ever had a disagreement with your hubby and then gave him the "silent treatment?" Most women have. Sometmes men do the same, but they just aren't as good as women. Check out the story below...

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him. Then he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The note said, "It is 4:00 AM. Wake up."

Men just are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Thanks for stopping by!

A Snail Tale...

Two snails were taking a leisurely walk one day enjoying the beautiful fall weather. Suddenly a turtle jumped out of the bushes and beat them senseless. Hours later they awoke in the hospital. The doctor looked grim and said, "You've received a lot of injuries and it would be helpful if you could tell me what happened." Both snails replied...


Are you ready for this?



"We don't know. It all happened so fast!"


Thanks for stopping by!

Christmas Tree Trimming...for cats...

It's that time of year again when we put up our artificial tree, spend hours arranging the lights, adding the ornaments, ribbons, and birds...

Yep, this is the year of the "red" Christmas tree. The tree with the red poinsettias, and red cardinals. Two years ago, the cats managed to practically destroy the tree by climbing and laying on the branches, snatching the poinsettias and birds and batting the red satin balls around the floor. Once, they knocked the entire tree over. By the time Christmas morning arrived, both the tree and I were bedraggled and wishing it was New Year's.

This year, the cats are two years older, so I'm hoping for the best. So far, I've only had to replace a few of the satin balls after hearing them hit the floor and go rolling...with a cat in hot pursuit.

The entire bottom of the tree has no ornaments at all, but this hasn't discouraged the cats from going after their prey. So far, they haven't attempted climbing the tree...thankfully, for the cardinals are resting in the highest branches. But, who knows. Tomorrow I may come home from work and find that beautiful tree...destroyed.

Ho, ho, ho!!

Thanks for stopping by.

Honey, Who Took the Remote?

Have you seen your hubby hold a remote (which obviously needs new batteries) and click it over and over to no avail? Have you seen him stand and move closer and closer to the screen as he tries to make it work?

Well, I received a humorous email which I felt was very appropriate during this commercial Christmas rush. I mean, after all, aren't we women the ones who are responsible for purchasing the majority of the gifts? And, while we are out shopping, our hubbies are sitting in the recliner, remote in hand, enjoying football.

Enjoy!

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me. I figured this was hte most evil thing I could do to him legally."

Thanks for stopping by...and remember to laugh. It's healthy!

Suntan Lotion for Your Cat??????

I thought I had heard it all...until I turned over my daily cat calendar to find a beautiful white cat. It was sitting in profile on a fence post. Then I read the caption. I couldn't believe it.

The gist--if you have a cat with a white face, it is very sensitive to the sun. And, you should get a special suntan lotion for protection.

I don't know about you, but I've never seen a sunburned cat. Have you?

Thanks for stopping by!

Taking a Stand Against Bathroom Deficiencies

For those of us who work outside the home where we spend nine hours or more in the workplace, shouldn't we at least have decent toilet paper? I mean, come on! Wiping with a piece of paper with pieces of bark embedded in see-through single ply has to stop. I come home raw, bleeding and limping on days when I just can't hold it in for nine hours.

And then, there's the issue of hand soap. Does it contain lye? I mean, my hands are so dry they try to dive into my glass of water after my trip to the ladies room. I don't have to worry about dark spots on the backs of my hands. I can't find them anyway because they're hiding to avoid the torture of that dreaded paper hand towel, cousin to the bark based toilet paper.

Worse, before I can make my exit that "too high on the wall to reach" so-called air freshener spits out a smell strong enough to kill anyone who dares to stay long enough to be caught. Have you ever tried any of that over the counter tooth medicine? Or take a deep whiff of some prescription codeine-based cough medicine. Yep, I swear that's what's in that stupid air contaminator. In fact, I've never seen a bug strong enough to escape. From time to time, I see little insects upside down, legs stiff, two of them trying to stifle their nostrils.

I'm taking a stand today. I'm bringing in my own toilet paper, a small hand towel, a bar of creamy hand soap, and nose plugs. Bet I get somebody's attention when I come walking down the hall. Hmmm, our Director of Human Resources from corporate office is coming in today. Maybe I'll give him a tour of our Ladies Room. First, I'll offer nose plugs, though.

Thanks for stopping by!

Even Funnier than Ralphie in The Christmas Story!!

Hey, don't be so surprised at the subject. Remember this blog is all about what is inside the writer's mind. Right now it's on something hilarious that I learned about one of my friends at work.

Who? Let's call her Kate just for kicks. She's a tiny woman who keeps me in stitches with her smart remarks and her ability to make fun of herself. I'm not even sure what triggered our talk that led to her sharing this bit of humor. This gal has to be one of the most naive people I've ever known.

The story: She was in grade school and standing at the bus stop on a cold icy winter day. Yep, you guessed it. Her little friends told her to "lick a truck bumper." "It's just like licking an ice cream cone. It's soooo good." Well, that's all it took...the mention of an ice cream cone. Kate loves to eat! And she wears a size 2!!! Okay, so she did it. She licked the truck bumper and, yep, just like Ralphie she's stuck to the back end of a truck. All her friends are laughing. When the bus arrives, they wave at her and start to climb on the bus. Not to be left behind, she yanks her tongue off and stands there in the snow, dripping blood. I know, I know. I shouldn't be laughing. Shame on me. But that there story is funny! Why? Because she couldn't eat for a week.

Um, so you aren't laughing like me? Well, maybe I should have told you this story first so you understand how Kate feels about food. She had a couple of rotten sisters. They knew Kate loved food. They were visiting grandma for a week during summer vacation. Grandma told them not to get into the refrigerator before dinner. Grandma was outside working in the garden and evil sisters tell Kate that grandma made meat patties for dinner and she "didn't count them!" They encouraged Kate to get into the refrigerator and check 'em out. Kate decided to eat one. Evil sisters said they weren't hungry and they weren't going to eat any of them at dinner either. So...Kate went ahead and ate two more. A total of three. A bit later Grandma came in and opened the refrigerator. She was furious! "Who fed the dog?" Yep, you got it. Kate ate three slices of dog food. Grandma had opened the top and bottom of the can, pushed out the dog food and sliced it. I mean, how dippy can you be!!!

Are you laughing yet? Hope so. Laughter is good for the soul. And I love Kate. No matter how much she likes to eat. Thanks for stopping by!

"Honey, Don't Flush the Toilet"

I've been looking forward to the nice long weekend since I have July 4th off. Woo hoo! Monday dawned and all I could think of was only four days to work this week. I envisioned cleaning house and getting all my weekend work finished on Friday so I'd have two whole days to read, write and relax. I was fixing dinner when my hubby rushed into the kitchen and said, "Honey, don't flush the toilet. It's leaking!"

Our half-bath downstairs was being flooded. He removed the ceiling panels and found the leak at the floor under the upstairs toilet. Not too bad, since hubby is a handy man. I just felt bad that he would have to spend his Tuesday wrestling with the toilet by himself.

I came home Tuesday night and he was happy. He'd replaced the wax rings and we now had two flushable toilets again. We had planned to go to Home Depot and look at floor tile because I had finally agreed to replace the twelve year old tile which had seen better days. We found the perfect flooring. Looks like old wood like you'd see in an old school house. You can see the knot holes and grain. Hickory in color. It had a 25 year guarantee. The new tile doesn't stick to the subfloor, but instead sticks to each separate piece and makes a beautiful pattern. We ate and came home and I retired to the sofa to rest. Then I heard these dreaded words: "Honey, don't flush the toilet!"

I thought he was kidding, but nope. That porcelain throne was leaking again. Yesterday, hubby spent another day "fixing" the toilet. I came home to a living room full of kitchen. The microwave stand, the butcher block serving cart, the table and chairs, the wine rack...everything dominated my living room. Hubby had stripped about half the tile from the kitchen floor in preparation for adding another layer of subfloor before putting down the new flooring. **sigh** I hate this. My nice long weekend would be interrupted with nail hammering and sawing. No need to even think about cleaning and dusting until this whole fiasco is finished. At least a week. But at least the toilet was fixed.

We ate and I retired to my office to write.

"Honey! Don't flush the toilet!"

Nooooooo. So once again...hubby will spend today "fixing" the toilet. He says he knows the right combination of wax rings to use this time. We'll see.

Thanks for stopping by.

Just for Fun on April Fool's Day

Several years ago, I belonged to a group where we had monthly writing challenges. To give a laugh on April Fool's Day, I decided to share my response to a poetry challenge. The challenge: Use all seven of the following cliches in a poem:

a can of worms
stink to high heaven
every dog has his day
I haven't a clue
long in the tooth
dagger to the heart
young and foolish

Below is my masterpiece! Hope it brings a smile to your face today.

***************************************
The Old Cowboy

He rode into town, on a crusty old nag.
He was long in the tooth, and his whiskers did drag.
Seeing him now was a dagger to the heart.
Remembering old times when he'd looked so smart.
A stink to high heaven, he left in his wake,
As he passed me unnoticed, that unkempt rake.
Some people claim "every dog has his day,"
Ah, to be young and foolish and love him that way!
He once stole my heart and promised forever.
I waited for years, 'til the bonds I did sever.
Open up a can of worms? I dare not do.
Whatever befell him, I haven't a clue.

***********************

Don't forget to read my interview with author J. M. Hochstetler from yesterday's post. And tomorrow...well I have some very special pictures to share!

Thanks for stopping by!

Oh No! Not Goodbye!!!

Have you ever received a catalog from a company you have never purchased a single item from that had splashed across the front cover: "Is This Really Goodybe?"

Over the years I've received so many. Some say: "This may be your last catalog!"

I wish!! Oh, don't get me wrong. I enjoy looking through the catalogs. Sometimes I even dog-ear a page or two, but rarely do I order. Do they really think that "threat" is going to cause me to pick up the telephone and quickly place my order to prevent me from **gasp** falling off their mailing list?

The catalog I received today was from Chadwick's. I believe I ordered from them about twenty years ago when I was skinny and firm. But today's catalog says: "I know you like new styles, leading fashion trends, quality fabrics, and a good deal when you see one. Our records tell us so...in fact, you were once ranked among our best customers but, unfortunately, we'll have to say goodbye if you don't order from us soon." Funny, I thought I said goodbye years ago when I quit ordering.

Now further down, the words go like this: "Let's start over! To encourage you to give us another try, we've made an exclusive final offer just for you...I would love to welcome you back!"

Okay, if we've never said goodbye, how can you welcome me back?

Bet I get another three or four catalogs from Chadwick's before the year ends. Some people just don't like saying goodbye.

Speaking of which, did I tell you the title of my newest manuscript is "Saying Goodbye"?

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by!