Monday, January 26, 2009

SAD? Maybe...

I've heard people talk about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but I've never experienced it...maybe.

The depression that hit me on Friday came so fast and so swift that I had no idea what happened. It continued through Friday night, into and through Saturday and even into Sunday. I kept going through the motions of life, doing what I knew was expected of me, but miserable inside...and I didn't know why.

The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that I was possessed. Someone else had taken over my body completely. I didn't like the person at all! And then it dawned on me. The devil was working on me. Where he came from and how he managed to grab such control of my life is beyond me. In fact, if someone were to tell me that the devil could do this, I would have been skeptical. Trust me, it's real. When things are going great, the devil will try and destroy. He took away my desire to write, my desire to love, my desire to exist.

Oh, I prayed and asked God why this was happening to me. I asked for His help. I wondered why I wasn't receiving any answers. I realize this started several weeks ago, a slow take-over that culminated on Friday. It wasn't a sudden thing. It had been subtle and slow and devastating. Then I spoke with my daughter, who has also suffered from depression, and I knew she would understand. See, she is one of those stones I spoke about last week. And she told me something I needed to hear. She reminded me that the devil doesn't hear our thoughts, only God. So I needed to say the words out loud. Cast the devil from my body. Tell him there was no room for him. And I did. And I prayed.

Today, tears are gone. I know I can face life and my optimistic self has returned. Oh, the devil is still here. He's still trying to chip away at me. But he's losing ground. And I will continue to take a stand against him, for I know with God all things are possible.

Just plain depression? NO. SAD? Maybe. "Sneaky Attack by Devil"

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