Friday, June 18, 2010

Squirted to Death...Tale of The Ugly Spider vs The Writer

The ugly black spider with a huge white spot on it's bulbous body crawled across the carpet into my line of sight. My gaze riveted on the evil enemy. How dare you invade my territory? The words spoken in my mind didn't make it to my lips. I didn't want to clue him in to his fate. My hand touched the cool door knob leading to the laundry and work room. Slowly, I opened it. I glanced at the spider to find him waiting. Come on, give me what you've got, his body language seemed to say. I retrieved the container of bug killer and squared off with him.

He took an aggressive stance. I took mine, with nozzle in one hand, container in the other. "You're going to die," I said aloud. "You realize your fate, don't you?"

No response followed. A slight movement of his legs showed me him ready to fight...or flee. Without giving him time to decide, I squirted him.

He ran.

I chased and gave him one more healthy dose of bug killer.

He slowed. Changed direction. Stopped.

I stared.

He moved.

I squirted him again. No sense taking chances. I wanted to give him a quick death.

He rolled over and remained still.

I continued to stare.

He moved and righted himself. Then he stood on his head.

I couldn't believe what my eyes saw. The ugly spider stood on his head. Really. His bulbous body stood at attention and the white spot seemed to be an eye glaring at me. I shivered.

He righted himself. And tried to run, his movements like a drunk, weaving along an imaginary white line.

Finally, he stopped. I figured he must be dead, but I couldn't bring myself to step on him. I put the bug spray back on the table and tore off two sheets of paper towels. I tossed the paper towels over his body and raised my foot, hesitated, then stomped.

Liquid filled the paper towel. Oh, gross!

I walked past the brutal scene of the crime several times before I got up the nerve to get more paper towels and dispose of the body. Tuesday, the deparated will become part of the county landfill.

Last night I dreamed of his relatives coming for revenge. Needless to say, I'm sleeping with one eye open tonight.

Thanks for stopping by!


Saralee Etter said...

(Shiver) Eeeew, gross! LOL I'm not a fan of big spiders.

But I hate the smell of bug killer, so usually I spray them with household cleaner or hairspray. I figure it can't do them any good.

Good for you, to use these epic battles as a way of sparking your creativity, instead of a distraction --which they usually are for me.

All the best,

prashant said...

I hate the smell of bug killer
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Carol Ann said...

The bug killer I used has NO odor! That's the best part. It isn't in a can, but it's a gallon container with a sprayer that detaches. Great stuff by Ortho called Home Defense.