"I need you to inspire me to write today, Muse."
"What you need is to put your hands on the keyboard and write. The inspiration will come once you remember that writing is an action word!"
"Yeah, easy for you to say. You don't have to stare at the blank screen."
"Neither would you if you would stop procrastinating and start writing."
"How can I write when I can't get the villain's motivation worked out?"
"See, there you go. Every time I try to help you, there's an excuse. Why is that funny?"
"He's not real."
"That's your problem right there. If you don't think he's real, how will your reader believe in his motivation?"
Score one for the muse!